• 3-minute read
• 11th August 2018

7 Baffling Business Buzzwords

The business world can be confusing if you don’t know the lingo. So to help you avoid misunderstandings, we’ve waded through the jargon to find seven of the most baffling business buzzwords! We’ll explain what they mean here, but we don’t necessarily recommend using them…

1. Open the Kimono

Metaphorically, ‘opening the kimono’ means revealing plans or sharing information freely. This is an odd phrase, but not essentially a problematic thing to do at work. However, if you literally go into the office wearing a kimono and open it in front of everyone, you are probably going to get fired.

2. Boil the Ocean

To ‘boil the ocean’ is to unwisely attempt the impossible. We actually quite like this one for being poetic, as boiling the ocean is an evocative image. But as buzzwords go it is definitely confusing!

3. Peel the Onion

If you ‘peel the onion’ in a business context, it means you’re examining a problem in detail. We guess this is because the problem has ‘layers’ of complexity. But it might instead be because dwelling on a work-based problem (or business buzzwords) for too long can induce tears.

4. Thought Shower

To have a ‘thought shower’ is to come up with several ideas, apparently. To us, though, it sounds like a way of cleaning a dirty mind. And while there are undoubtedly offices that should be cleansed of innuendo, we’re not sure that this deserves a buzzword of its own.

5. Punch a Puppy

An unpleasant term that refers to doing something unthinkable as a last gasp option. And while we realise it isn’t celebrating canine violence, we’re strongly against even metaphorical puppy punching.

6. Wash Its Own Face

If something makes enough to cover its own expenses, it is said to ‘wash its own face’. But while facial cleanliness is a start, we hope that business people are also washing the rest of their bodies before heading into the office. Or at least taking regular thought showers.

7. Bizmeth

Technically this is short for ‘business method’. If it also conjures up images of Walter White delivering his specialist product to a conference room, that’s just a coincidence. Probably. Who really knows what business people get up to at the end of the day? Either way, you’re better off using the term ‘business method’ in full to avoid any methamphetamine related confusion.